Reverend Roy Carl Nilsen

Roy Carl Nilsen (July 22, 1938 - January 13, 2025)

One of the gifts of the Lutheran heritage that Roy Nilsen spoke of in his farewell words to Zion Lutheran Church in 1998 is the belief that the finite bears the infinite.

On Monday, January 13 in his home, resting in his chair, Roy Carl Nilsen’s finite, infinite-bearing life, came to an end.

His was a life of wondering, wrestling, and welcoming both the struggle and the surrender, the knowing and the questioning, all undergirded by the expansive, exquisite, and at times elusive grace of God.

Roy was born on July 22, 1938 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the son of Carl George Nilsen and Irene Hedwig (Granum) Nilsen.

As a searching teenager, his wandering, curious spirit led him to Our Savior’s Lutheran Church in Milwaukee, where he encountered the love of God through the love of the people of God. Those seeds of love grew into the call he heard to become a pastor in a finite church that would bear the infinite love of God to those who felt unlovable—as he once did.

In 1956 he graduated from South Division High School and attended Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota, where he graduated in 1960.

It was at Concordia College that he found his voice, singing in the C. C. Choir, and where he found his love, Mary Ylvisaker, while swinging on the swings at the nearby elementary school. Both discoveries began for him love affairs that lasted 64 years. His love for music and for Mary never waned, even when his voice cracked, even as chronic pain wracked his body.

Roy and Mary were married on April 2, 1960, the spring of their senior year at Concordia. Roy studied at Luther Seminary from 1960-1964 and became an ordained pastor in the American Lutheran Church in 1964.

He steadfastly and faithfully served the congregation of Hope Lutheran in Sunburg, Minnesota, from 1964-1970; Faith Lutheran in Morris, Minnesota, from 1970-1980; Zion Lutheran in Iowa City, Iowa, from 1980-1998; St. John’s Lutheran in Des Moines, Iowa, from 1998-2004; and post-retirement at St. Mark Lutheran in West Des Moines. In every congregation, he discovered, lifted up, and celebrated the unique gifts of the unique people of God of that place. With reverence and irreverence, creativity and compassion, silence and speech, humility (with just a touch of hubris), and humor, Roy accompanied his congregations through great joys and deep sorrows, drawing others always to the infinite grace of God that sustained him.

After more than 40 years of ministry, Roy retired to, in his words, “devote more time and energy to my love affair with art,” as a docent at the Des Moines Art Center. His gift of wonder, engagement, mystery, and beauty compelled his listeners—including school-age children—to not just see art but to experience its beauty and mystery.

For Roy, life was an adventure in love! And when the adventure took him to new places, all the better! He and Mary savored other cultures, people, perspectives, food and art. Time spent in Norway with his family and Mary’s family was particularly life-giving for him.

But surpassing the delights of ministry, art, and travel, which he treasured and never took for granted, Roy’s deepest joy was in his family, witnessing the creativity, passion, evolution, and uniqueness of the infinite within the finite of his five adult children and their spouses, his eleven grandchildren and their spouses, his two brand new great-grandchildren, and the love of his life, Mary.

His enduring gifts to the world abide now in all whom he encountered. Roy’s greatest delight would be for all of us to feel the expansive embrace of God, to live with abandon, to delight in this weary, wounded and wonderful world, to work for its healing, and to treasure the precious uniqueness of each beloved, finite child of God as a bearer of the infinite.

Roy is survived by his wife, Mary Ylvisaker Nilsen; five children: Per Nilsen (Mary), Kai Nilsen (Patty), Linnea Nilsen Capshaw (Daniel), Solveig Nilsen-Goodin (Peter), Erika Nilsen (David Devine); eleven grandchildren: Bjorn, Kristian, Anders, Annika, Leif, Siri, Soren, Stig, Hanson, Signe, and Mari; two great-grandchildren: Selah and Saint; his sister, Carol Nilsen; many nieces and nephews; and a vast extended family in Norway.

Roy was preceded in death by his father and mother.

In lieu of flowers, memorials can be sent to Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota; St. John’s Lutheran Church in Des Moines, Iowa; or DMARC Food Pantry Network in Des Moines, Iowa.

Funeral arrangements are being handled by Hamilton’s on Westown Parkway in West Des Moines.

We will gather to remember and celebrate Roy’s life and faith on Saturday, February 8, 2025, at St. John’s Lutheran Church, Des Moines.

All are welcome to gather with family and friends beginning at 10 a.m., the funeral service will begin at 11 a.m., followed by a reception in Wurtz Hall at St. John’s.

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