Bonnie Jeanne Pence

Bonnie Jeanne Doughten Pence was born on 9 May 1943 in Red Oak, Iowa to William “Bill” and Jeanne Doughten. Bonnie and her mother spent the first two years with family while her father was overseas fighting in the Second World War. When Bill returned, Bonnie made sure that he never got too far away again.
Bonnie grew up in Ankeny, Iowa, when it was still a small town with dirt roads. She loved to ride horses across green fields, which are now filled with buildings and parking lots. She also loved to draw, taking a job to illustrate advertisements for Davidsons in Des Moines. Her favorite task was drawing women’s fashions - but she didn’t like the deadlines, which took the fun out of drawing. Bonnie later worked for Thompson’s Display, and in 1963 took a job with Farm Bureau. On November 22, 1963, a man who would one day become her husband, entered her life when he brought news that President Kennedy had been shot. Three months later, on Valentine’s Day 1964, they had their first date. Pure magic. They married on June 26th, 1965.

Bonnie left Farm Bureau in November 1966 after Arlen joined the Air Force. They moved around quite a bit during the War – Great Falls, San Antonio, Wichita Falls , and Omaha – but despite the nomadic life, they loved each other all the more.
Bonnie brought a daughter into the world – Courtney Jeanne – in May 1968. Then a son – Derek Arlen – came along in October 1971. The war was now over, and they were back in Des Moines near family. Bonnie loved it. For her, family was the most important ingredient to a happy life. But Bonnie also had so many, many friends over the years. Friends from school. Friends from church. Women that traveled with her, shared happiness and grief, watched each other’s children grown. Bonnie loved them all. And they loved her.

In 1978, Bonnie and her family moved out to “The Farm”, just south of Waukee. It was heaven to Bonnie. Lots of green rolling land, thick trees, and a pond full of fish - which her father would have loved. Bonnie quickly set to “beautifying” her new farm house - decorating every room and nurturing happy and beautiful flower beds. Bonnie and Arlen started by raising sheep – a desire they’d had since becoming Christians. And sheep create adventures. The incredible stubbornness. The lambing seasons in the dead cold of winter. The prison breaks from the sheep pens. And Bonnie was always there to care for the abandoned or orphaned lambs, feeding them from the bottle as the cold wind blew outside.

Seasons changed. The sheep made way for horses. The Farm grew ever more beautiful. And as Courtney and Derek grew, Bonnie’s love grew. She never ran out of patience and joy in being a part of her children’s lives. And she was always - ALWAYS - interested in everything her children were interested in. Whether it was listening to Courtney’s favorite rock band, or taking Derek to the comic book shop – she always took the time.
And she knew how to enjoy the quiet moments, between the big events of life. In those times, you could find her curled up in her chair, reading a favorite book. Or perhaps cutting Arlen’s hair (he never trusted anyone else). Or, most often, playing her piano. That music filled the house with her love.

Too soon, the children grew up and built lives of their own. But they never outgrew her love. Nor did Bonnie’s friends. Nor, certainly, did Arlen – who was both her husband and her best friend. They have now been married over 53 years. And if God would have let them, another thousand would be too few. Arlen was blessed with a wonderful partner in life. A beautiful woman inside and out, who never (and we’ve read her diaries) spoke a cross word about anyone.

She inherited this trait from another wonderful woman: her mother Jeanne Doughten. Bonnie’s story is, in many ways, the story of Bonnie working constantly to be the quality of woman she knew her mother to be. She never stopped saying “When I grow up, I want to be like Mom.” Bonnie and her sister Gwynne have been blessed to have their mother with them every step of their lives. Every day… Even today.

Bonnie was taken too soon for any of our liking. There was so much more she wanted to do – not least of which was to see her beloved grandchildren grow up and have families of their own. She talked of this so many times. Their hearts and dreams were so important to her. We know her spirit will be with them in every victory and every challenge. She loved all of you. And her love will continue into eternity.

Bonnie is survived by her mother Jeanne Doughten, her husband Arlen, her daughter Courtney and husband Gerrit, her son Derek and wife Julia, her grandchildren Bryanna, Gabrielle, and Noah, her sister Gwynne and husband Bill, her nephew Joshua and wife Amy and their son Caleb.

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